{hello there

so. things have been busy.

we moved to a cute farmhouse

then visited home for the weekend where i had a beautiful babyshower

then got 4d ultrasounds

our beautiful girl!

where we saw her smile, yawn, and make an angry face! she's 4lbs 6oz and measuring Perfect!!

then came back to our little farmhouse to get settled. i've been *nesting* of course, and already have everything done but the nursery, which i'm taking my time with. it helps not having internet or tv--amazing the things i can accomplish with limited distractions! i've also continued to grow larger:

impressive, right? i can't believe how big i am right now! and she's dropped some--i was carrying very high. i've been feeling pretty good though--trying not too overdo it, which can be hard with my crazy nesting drive right now.

i've also been sad this week though, since my veryfavorite cat ran away when we moved him to our new house--wallie cat!! oh i miss him~!!

me and wallie as a baby

i'm hoping that he will come home; his brother ralph has stayed close to the house, but wallie got away from us the first day and we haven't seen him since, despite having asked all the neighbors and put up signs and everything! all the neighbors have tons of barn cats so i feel a little better knowing that he can get food and water if he needs it, but i wish he would come home.

so that is about it for now! lots of {wonderful} changes 

the move.

i'm verytired this morning. packing&moving has been a lot harder on my 7+months pregnant body than it is on my everydaybody.

so all i really wanted to do here is complain about it. how this is the hardest move we've done, how i can't lift things, how its HOT outside (and inside, with our no-central-air apartment), how i'm too tired to speak this morning, how i am entirely overwhelmed ...

but i don't need to complain about my blessings. i am thankful that we are moving and that God allowed us to find the perfect rental house so quickly! and i am thankful that my babygirl is Growing big&strong and i'll give her everylittleounce of my energy if she needs it!

only 3 more days.

one bite at a time, baby, one bite at a time.

::next week::

{ a goodbye lunch and a goodbye icecreamparty at work }

{ moving to the farmhouse... }

 { traveling home for my babyshower }

{ and, after 2years, i trade in my prettygreat job for a mostwonderful job... }

my body is an instrument.

A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me. It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it ugly. That's OK. It was your home. It's where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dreamed about who you were and who you would be. It held you until my arms could, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it.

since hitting my third trimester a few weeks ago, i've thought plenty on the pain & the discomfort, what i can't do and have trouble with, the heartburn, midnight vomiting, legcramps, exhaustion, the terrifying rising number on the scale. being so hugely huge. all the uncontrolled changes in my body, and the reality that my body will Never be like it once was.

my self-conscious vanity, comparisons, relatively small discomforts.

when all the while, God is doing this beautiful thing. using me in a more physical, tangible way than i have ever been used before.

Our bodies are tools, not treasures. You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen-year-old form. Let it be used. By the time you die, you want to have a very dinged and dinted body. Motherhood uses your body in the way that God designed it to be used. Those are the right kind of damages....Scars and stretch marks and muffin tops are all part of your kingdom work....So realize that your body is a testimony to the world of God's design. Carry the extra weight joyfully until you can lose it joyfully. Carry the scars joyfully as you carry the fruit of them. Do not resent the damages that your children left on your body. Just like a guitar mellows and sounds better with age and scratches, so your body can more fully praise God having been used for His purposes. So don't resent it, enjoy it. { Rachel Jankovic }

so i will honor God with my body { 1 Corinthians 6:20 }
i will adorn myself with a beautiful spirit { 1 Peter 3:3-4 }
because i am in God's own image { Genesis 1:27 }
and because, yes, most especially now,
i am wonderfully made { Psalm 139:13-16 }

30 weeks!

Baby's size? about 16inches, 3lbs

Weight Gain?  13lbs

Stretch Marks? not yet!

Belly button in or out? in!

Sleep? a little better!! B set up this pillow-nest for me on the couch, so whenever i start feeling sick, i can sleep there sitting up a little more comfortably. it works pretty well! i end up getting up a lot in the night, but at least i am sleeping in between getting up.

Foods I am loving? nothing in particular. i do feel like i could drink a gallon of chocolate milk today. but B thinks i would probably immediately throw it up, so i am going to not do that.

Foods I am hating? nothing new

Best moment this week? when i discovered that if i lean back, i can see a bump in my stomach wherever she happens to be at the moment, and i can sometimes see her move that way! its so cool!

Symptoms? sickness, heartburn, & charlie horses in my legs and feet sometimes

Movement?  yes! she's still kicking around in there! and she loves to curl up on the right side of my body, right under my ribs. 

What I miss?  i used to NEVER get sick before i was pregnant. so i miss that. and also i wish i could run--not that i was very fast or prone to running before i was pregnant, i just feel so gargantuan and slow; i look at people running and i think it looks like sweet freedom.

What I'm looking forward to? my baby shower in a few week & moving & setting up her nursery! 

Emotions: i get frustrated sometimes with all the throwing up and not being able to carry boxes {  a disadvantage when in the midst of moving! }. i had No Idea how hard it was to be pregnant before i was pregnant! but overall, now that i am getting some sleep, i'm feeling a lot more optimistic!

limits.

i have been terrible at knowing my physical limitations since i've been pregnant. they sure aren't what they used to be and it seems like they change all the time! all that to say i feel about half alive { and half awake } this morning. last night B dropped me off to work on unpacking { we need the boxes for MORE packing at the apartment } and cleaning { ugggghhh. a country house that hasn't been lived in for a few months. just imagine. } at the farmhouse while he did bandpractice / vbs at church, and before i knew it i'd worked 4 & a half hours nonstop! there is just so much to do at the house, and B completely lost track of time with church. so it was 11 at night and we live an hour away; i got home and was sick all night again { though B did devise a way to arrange pillows on the couch so that i can halfway sleep sitting up, which helps a lot with the vomiting/heartburn thing }. i went to work anyway this morning, though i have sick days left, just because i've been taking so many lately--at least one a week, all needed. hopefully breakfast will stay down and i'll make it through the day. maybe i can take a nap at lunch, or close my office door and nap { if no students or coworkers get too nosy~! }. anyway, i think i overdid it last night--stayed up too late, worked too long without breaks, maybe carried a few boxes that were a little too heavy for me to be carrying. usually i feel pretty good { or at least so determined that i overlook feeling bad } while i'm working on things that it doesn't catch up with me until later, or the next morning { currently }--i wish i had a little pocket-sized doctor i could keep with me to tell me that box is far too heavy, its been an hour, time to sit down, you know, all those things i wish i'd thought of yesterday. so. lesson somewhat learned. i will Not do this to myself on sunday!

{ june publications }

* a review of the least of these by todd davis in the bloomsbury review
* 2 poems in macguffin

( home again )

{ 29weeks & growing }

today B and i are off work for the holiday--muchly needed, after my 4day visit home to tennessee { we missed each other }.

oh my, how i worked this past weekend! i thought my mom had exaggerated how much there was to be done--not the case! my sisters and i worked nonstop, sorting and packing. we got about 2/3rds of the attic done, which is quite the accomplishment, considering. saturday we had a vastly successful yardsale at my grandmas house, then sunday i went back home. my parents will be living in a smaller house so they had quite a bit of furniture for my new rental house--bookshelves! an antique dresser! NEW COUCHES!--well, not new exactly, since my parents have had them since i was in middle school, but they are very much more beautiful than the sort of sad looking college dorm room couches B and i have had since we got married. so we moved all that into the rental house and its starting to look more home-like { and less than 20 days until it is our home! }.

i think i might've worked a bit too hard though, since i was terribly sick saturday night and sunday--i wake up in the middle of the night throwing up sometimes, so strange!--but with lots of naps and resting today, i'm feeling much better and ready for the workweek { *edit*: nevermind that, lunch didn't stay down either. ahh!!! i want to EAT without Consequences!!!! }.

i'm so excited about all the changes coming up this month & i can't wait to settle into my new home!